Di Has Stories…

(and they’re all true)

I am somehow not surprised I am not a Christian March 12, 2009

Filed under: shit i believe in,things that make you go hmmm — Diana @ 1:23 pm

A Personality quiz about your religious and spiritual beliefs

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Send it to a friendTo send your Belief-O-Matic Quiz results to a friend please click here.

Your Results

The top score on the list below represents the faith that Belief-O-Matic, in its less than infinite wisdom, thinks most closely matches your beliefs. However, even a score of 100% does not mean that your views are all shared by this faith, or vice versa.

Belief-O-Matic then lists another 26 faiths in order of how much they have in common with your professed beliefs. The higher a faith appears on this list, the more closely it aligns with your thinking.

How did the Belief-O-Matic do? Discuss your results on our message boards.

1. Secular Humanism (100%)
2. Unitarian Universalism (95%)
3. Liberal Quakers (81%)
4. Theravada Buddhism (76%)
5. Nontheist (73%)
6. Neo-Pagan (69%)
7. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (67%)
8. New Age (59%)
9. Orthodox Quaker (50%)
10. Reform Judaism (50%)
11. Mahayana Buddhism (49%)
12. Taoism (49%)
13. Scientology (43%)
14. New Thought (39%)
15. Baha’i Faith (38%)
16. Jainism (36%)
17. Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (35%)
18. Sikhism (27%)
19. Islam (24%)
20. Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant (24%)
21. Orthodox Judaism (24%)
22. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (23%)
23. Seventh Day Adventist (21%)
24. Hinduism (17%)
25. Jehovah’s Witness (17%)
26. Eastern Orthodox (9%)
27. Roman Catholic (9%)
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Has Colorado Gone Completely Crazy? October 10, 2008

Filed under: political,shit i believe in,things that make you go hmmm — Diana @ 10:00 am

a little pregnant: Rocky Mountain huh?

And why haven’t we been hearing about this? What can we do to make the people of Colorado vote this bullshit down??

 

I’m Rich!! August 20, 2008

Filed under: bitching,fun stuff,things that make you go hmmm — Diana @ 9:44 pm

The other day, I got this email:

Congratulation, You Have Won £800,000.00 GBP

11 G Lower Dorset Street
Dublin 1
Ireland

Result: http://www.irishlotto.net/

This electronic mail is to inform you that you have won the sum of £800,000.00 (GBP) in the Irish Lottery Official On-Line Drawing.

According to exchange rates tabulated on the official  day of the drawing (July 26, 2008), the aforementioned
jackpot prize amount is equivalent of $1,621,435.38 (USD) or 1,041,188.51 (Euros), less taxes which are to be extracted by the British Governments Tax and Revenue Division prior to distribution of the winnings.

The official drawing for the aforementioned jackpot was performed at the greater Dublin Office of the
Irish Lottery Commission at 12:01pm on July 26, 2008, and was overseen by the accounting firm of House
& Beckermann LLC. In the above noted drawing, your contact Email was selected from a pool of 24,667,309 potential winners.

Your winning Numbers are;
Winning Num: 23, 30, 32, 36, 39, 40, Bonus 34
Batch Num: Batch: R3/A312-59
Reference Num: Ref: LSUK/2031/8161/05

For additional information you must contact the commission’s fiduciary agent In the United Kingdom at the below noted email address;

Mr. Terry Cole (Fiduciary Agent)
Email: ir.terrycole@hotmail.co.uk

For verification please provide your:

1.Full Names
2.Full Address
3.Telephone Number

and your above Batch and reference Number when responding.

Thank you and congratulation.

Thomas Stinson, Online Coordinator
Fudiciary & Notification Department
Lottery Commission of Ireland.

_______________________________________________________________

I noticed some issues with this email, and sent “Mr Stinson” a reply:
Dear Irish Lottery:

Please note that:
(1) Ireland uses the Euro as their measure of currency
(2) Ireland is not a part of Great Britain, and therefore GB would not be taking taxes out of the payment.

If you are going to write a scam email, please do some fucking research beforehand.

Love, Di
______________________________________________________________

Oddly, I didn’t get a response.  Huh.

 

Blog Dump – Long Past Due July 28, 2008

In Which We See Cute Things and Receive Spiritual Guidance from I Can Has Cheezburger

In Which We See Awesome Things That I Or Someone I Love Need To Purchase Post Haste

Pickle Jar With Fork from Ooh-Shiny.Net  (Sarah, I’m looking at you)

The Agreeable Sheep from Ooh-Shiny.Net  (Heather?)

Puppet Hoodie from Ooh-Shiny.Net (This one is for me, but it’s not in my size….do these things stretch in the wash?)

The Urban Homestead: Your Guide to Self-sufficient Living in the Heart of the City on Boing Boing.  (Sarah, you again)

Roku: $100 gadget for watching Netflix movies on your TV (Freaking EVERYONE!  This looks awesome!!)

Portable cardboard toilet on BoingBoing.  Yes, the Shit Box.  My beloved has decided that, because we only have one bathroom, he needs a bucket with a toilet seat in the garage in case we both have the flu or something at the same time.  Last time we were at Home Depot he bought the seat for it.  For the record, I have been lobbying for the installation of a random basement toilet, but so far he’s not going for it.  As a resonable second, I think that we should at least get a shit box.  If I’m going to be emptying my bowels in the garage, I want a proper receptacle.  Those of you that Twitter will find that this is my new icon.  This is why I should never, ever show Christy funny stuff while I am drunk.  When she says, “that would make a great icon”, I’m on it like white on rice.  However, even when I sobered up I still thought it was pretty awesome.

In Which We Have A Commentary On My Job, Which I Am Not Currently Working

From GraphJam:

In Which The Holiest Part of Christianity is Blasphemed for Our Personal Pleasure

From Loltheist:

In Which We Listen In On Conversations:

So I’m Sorry I Did That, Amber  (from Overheard Everywhere)

English teacher: Calling someone a douche is not a constructive comment, even if it’s true.
Flora High School
Columbia, South Carolina

The Pen Had It Comin’! (from Overheard in Minneapolis)

Metro Transit phone employee (on speakerphone): Take the sixteen bus towards…
18 year old girl trying to get directions: Wait, wait you’re talking too fast and my pen died.
Metro Transit phone employee: You killed your pen? You heartless BITCH.

Univeristy/ sixteen bus line
Overheard by Death to ink.

Relax, I’m Just Horngry (from Overheard in the Office)

Financial specialist, in front of his pregnant wife/coworker: God, I would nail someone if they had some bacon right now!
Wife/coworker: What the hell is wrong with you?
Dallas, Texas
Overheard by: God Help Me

Then How Come It Got Me More Time on My SATs? (from Overheard in the Office)

Boss on phone: That is not clinical! Being an asshole is not a clinical condition.
Ginko Industrial Park
Warminster, Pennsylvania

Is It Still a Place Where You Wash Your Hands? (from Overheard in the Office)

Kitchen grunt: You ever poop and suddenly find the world a better place?
Main Street
Greenwood, Indiana

Overheard by: RDC

In Which We Are Surprised.  Wait, No We Aren’t

U.S. still flunks healthcare test, group says

Absolutely fucking OUTRAGEOUS! by Paulius

Fox’s “Anti-Aging Fix” for McCain by Technology Expert

Larry Craig, Daniel Vitter Co-Sponsors of “Marriage Protection Amendment” by Technology Expert

Vampire babies on the attack! by Jen

In Which I Have A Whole Other List of Books To Check Out

List of every book read by Art Garfunkel since 1968.  I’d like to point out that Art started this list the very month and year that my beloved was born.  And that while Art is referenced in this article as a “voracious” reader, he averages about two books per month.  This year, I am averaging two per year.  And I really need to get going on cataloging them.

Speaking of books, some of my favorite books when I was a kid (and even now, I’ll admit it) were the Anne of Green Gables series by L.M. Montgomery. 100 Candles Anne of Green Gables grows old and gets her due. When my mom introduced me to Anne, the books were actually out of print in the states, and I read the same copies that she had read as a child…the hardbound editions with all of the dust covers missing.  For years I thought I was named after Diana Barry, Anne’s best friend, my dad recently told me he picked the name from the Paul Anka song.  When my oldest sister was born, when I was 11, I was allowed to pick her middle name.  I choose Anne.  Although my sister didn’t grow up to be a sassy redhead (wait, yeah she did), she can at least say – for sure! – that she was named after Anne of Green Gables.

In Which I Find New Websites to Waste My Time With

Things I Should Throw Out: Clippings From The Eighties

In Which I’m Just….Amazed.  And A Bit Disturbed

Man electrocutes pickle to demonstrate power of Christianity So, because I don’t love Jebus, I will not glow in the dark and I can’t make any difference in the world?  What?

In Which I’m Just Amazed

The Pregnant Man.  I cried recently when I learned that Thomas Beatie and his wife had safely delivered their little girl.  While I might just be a little sensitive about the whole having-babies thing right now, it makes me so happy when people who desperately want children are able to have them, in whatever way it happens.  Birth, adoption, whatever – these people wanted an expression of their love for each other in the form of a child, and they were able to do it in an unconventional way.  It’s beautiful.  It would have been beautiful if they’d been able to do it in a “normal” way, too, but then the rest of us wouldn’t have been able to share in the joyous birth of a child who was so, so wanted.

In Which There Is a Gratuitous Post About Bacon

In Which Women Smarter Than I Talk About Life and Other Big Things

Is HAES Unhealthy? by Well-Rounded Mama

Yeah, whatever, Kate Moss by peggynature

The cult of dieting by attrice

Possibly, The Most Tasteless CUSS Post to Date by Suzanne

ChronicBit: Lab tests demystified Via Lab Tests Online, where you can search for just about any test and learn what it means. Excellent tool for us Babes… thanks for the top, ChronicPal Shannon!

Family Pride by Happy Villain

Eye-Opener by Happy Villain

 

Conversations on the Way to Work July 27, 2007

Diana:    I had a dream last night that I was trying to get out of the last hour of work, so I snuck into another         department’s meeting. It was about the Four Types of Bling.

Jeff:     What are the four types of bling?

Diana:   I dunno.

Jeff:     Do you suppose that they would be categorized by type, like rings, necklaces…?

Diana: Nooooo…..

Jeff:     Or by lots of diamonds….?

Diana: Or how about by wearer of bling? Like, Suburban Housewife Bling….Gangsta Bling…?

Jeff: Cheesy white guy bling….?

 

So? What do YOU think are the categories of bling?

 

 

Quote of the Day June 18, 2007

Filed under: things that make you go hmmm — Diana @ 12:53 pm

from Sarah:

Global warming not nearly as dangerous as escalating levels of asshattery. 

 

Me ‘n my pee May 22, 2007

Filed under: my fat ass,things that make you go hmmm — Diana @ 11:56 am

For some reason, yesterday I came across an advertisement for a drug that helps with bladder-control problems.  Although I seldom piss myself, I had a looksee  at the criteria.  One of them was “do you pee more than 8 times a day?”

Yes, yes I do.  I also drink more than 100 ounces of water a day.  If I didn’t pee all the time, I would look like this:

marshmallow.jpg

(only girly-er)