Di Has Stories…

(and they’re all true)

How Many Men Does It Take To Lift a Woman’s Spirit? February 11, 2005

Filed under: le divorce,life in the city — Diana @ 10:03 pm

From This American Life, 1995. A woman unplugs her toaster, wraps the cord around it, and suddenly her apartment is empty.

I am two weeks away from the big move. Although I have been wanting this move for almost a year – since the day after FW left – I have found that I am unmotivated to get it going. Why?

This is IT. This apartment is the final tie to my marriage – the place we lived together the longest, the place that I came back to after others had not worked out (it was the marriage, and not the venue, that was flawed?). In two weeks, I will live in an apartment that is – for the first time in three years – mine. Fresh. With no memories. Somewhere I cannot picture him in, where he will not be allowed to be seen out of the corner of my eye. I will sleep in a bedroom where no one has been invited, and put my clothes in a closet that is only for me.

And, while I am happy to be making this move, and to leave the 60’s cinder block cookie dough beige hell that I have been living in, the thought that this is the final step away from my marriage, and from the person that I thought I loved (and, for perhaps, a brief while, I really did love), gives me pause. What is left of me in this place? And what part of me will I leave behind when I slip the keys under the door?

 

2005…..Finally!!!! January 3, 2005

Filed under: bitching,le divorce,life in the city — Diana @ 3:52 pm

So, 2004 was the worst year of my entire life (ok, so it’s only been 29+ years….it was still a damn bad year!!). Let’s review:

  • My Grandpa died
  • Got fired from a job I hated (but at least it paid me….)
  • My husband, the child-molesting thief, left me
  • Temp job – auditing a pension fund.
  • Broke, broke, broke…all year….
  • Scabby’s medical emergency (adding to the broke problem)
  • My husband refuses to divorce me!!!
  • Finally, as my divorce becomes final, and it looks like everything is going to be good, find out that ex-psycho landlord, Brad, has put that I skipped on my renter’s report, rendering me unable to rent a new place….

So, as the last few minutes of 2004 slipped away, I felt relief. It was literally a physical relief – I stood taller, and along with my friends, began to dance. 2005 may not be the best year of my life (then again, who knows?) but I am so darn glad that 2004 is over, that I will continue to dance for the next 12 months.

 

The best way out…. November 30, 2004

Filed under: adventures in dating,le divorce,work work work — Diana @ 7:54 pm

…is through, to paraphrase the Robert Frost quote that Sarah emailed me this morning.

And what am I trying to get through? Well, life in general is a bit sucky right now, and I am feeling a bit “why-me” ish. The major categories:

Work

Busy. Lots and lots of meeting from now until December 20. And lots of office politic-y drama, which I bloody hate. And, to keep me nice and confused, the starter of all of the drama, and instigator of lots of gossip, was especially nice to me today, which makes me paranoid, because most days I barely get anything unless she wants something. Maybe she wants something. And, just because I am feeling petty, the payroll schedule is changing from semi-monthly to bi-weekly. Ok, maybe I’m a freak, but I loved being able to budget semi-monthly!! Although, there is that third paycheck phenomena that I seem to remember being pretty cool….

Divorce

Not yet final.

Apartment

Not looking good. Got a call from the caretaker yesterday who informed me that not only is my credit crap (duh), but that there is a notation on my credit report that we “skipped” out on the apartment in Minneapolis (ah, yes, Brad strikes again). So, they will rent to me if I either (a) pay double damage deposit (uh, don’t have it), or (b) get a cosigner (not ready for that one yet). They are not “denying” me, but they want to do more “research”. Even best case scenario, there ain’t no way that I am moving in January. Which completely sucks.

Carla’s Wedding

Still on, but I kind of want to kick her mother-in-law for making her so uptight about the whole thing. Damn it, weddings are supposed to be fun, and it just never seems like that for the poor bride.

Dating

Sucks a**. Haven’t heard from Andrew in ages. Guess he’s done with me. Can’t even get other boys to reply to my emails. And, being bloated, I’m feeling pretty darn unattractive. And, for some reason, I really, really don’t want to sleep alone tonight. I don’t want sex or anything (well, I guess I wouldn’t turn it down), I’d just like to not be alone at this point in my life, and be able to curl up to someone in our bed, and feel him against me all night. I miss being loved, and am not quite sure how to find it. And right now not feeling terribly confident that I ever will.

In conclusion

For the last almost year, it seems that everytime I get a little bit ahead, or make any kind of plans, or am a bit excited about something, Fate slaps me upside the head and says, “Bitch, who’s in charge here?” and puts everything back the way she likes it. I’m getting irritated with her. But, that obnoxious optimistic side of my personality (the one that keeps my head out of the oven) tells me that this is all happening for a reason, that I will be a better person for it, and that everything will work out the way that it is supposed to.

That side had better be right.

 

You’d think for $200 an hour…. November 21, 2004

Filed under: le divorce — Diana @ 8:55 am

For f**k’s sake. Two weeks ago, I made the appointment to visit FW’s lawyer to have the papers signed. I stipulated that I had to see them before I got to the office (check) and that he had been in to sign them before me (check). Went in, signed my ENTIRE name about 15 times (must remember not to keep all names ever had if I get married again!), cried a bit, and left.

The next morning, Friday, I get a call from Lori the Lawyer’s assistant, who informed me that they had forgotten to get me to sign one of the pages (“It must have stuck to one of the other ones!”) and I had to come back in, that day….or I’d have to appear in court on Monday afternoon. After some haggling, I did indeed go back in.

So, finally, everything is signed, sealed, and delivered to the court. I have given the County of Hennepin the best $247 I’ve ever spent, and I’ll be a Free Woman within a couple of weeks….stay tuned to this channel for updates. 🙂

 

End of an Era (and not the laundry detergent) November 18, 2004

Filed under: le divorce — Diana @ 8:21 pm

Today, I signed my divorce papers.

They are filed. He has signed. I have signed. It has been paid for. Just need a judge to sign and I will be a Divorcee.

I’m not as happy about it as I thought I would be.

 

Preparations for a New Life November 14, 2004

Filed under: adventures in dating,le divorce,life in the city — Diana @ 3:09 pm

Yay! Only four days to go until the papers actually get signed! I talked to the lawyer on Friday, and found that I actually have to file the original paperwork that I filed out, and pay my $245 filing fee. Then, I sign on Thursday, and she’ll file on Friday (hopefully). According to her estimate, it will be final in three weeks – tops.

As such, the Great Apartment Hunt started yesterday. Sarah and I went and checked out some swell areas of St. Paul (in the Grand Avenue/St. Thomas/St. Katherine areas) and wrote down a bunch of possibilities. I called on some this morning, and so far the main problem seems to be the lack of a dining room (or a sizable dining room) in a lot of those places. With Grandma Hank’s massive furniture, I need somewhere to put it. I continue to be amazed at the low prices of rentals (yay!) – I called on a beautiful duplex yesterday that had two bedrooms and a basement family room type thing, and it was only $1,100 (but had been on the market so long, they were willing to haggle). It’s much more money and room than I want, but a FANTASTIC deal. Everything else has been below what I was hoping to pay, and far below what I would pay if need be.

I do have an appointment to look at a place tomorrow night, so we’ll see how that looks.

In dating news: I have decided that Andy is a bit too scarred to pursue at this time, but we remain friends, and talk a few times a week (mostly by email).

Nathan, the long haired bloke, has been a bit distant, and I’m not sure what’s up with him. Although he hasn’t called in a few days, I have been included in a couple of emails from him – one on the election and one to help advertise an upcoming show that he’s producing (no desire to go and see someone who was once with Anthrax…). I don’t know about him. Nice, sexy (damn it, I am a child of the 80’s…I LOVE long hair!). We’ll see.

Have a date with Andrew the nurse tonight. Olive Garden in Burnsville. He’d better be more fun than he is on the phone. Shy, I can deal with. Boring needs to go away.

 

No, really, this time I AM getting divorced! November 10, 2004

Filed under: le divorce — Diana @ 9:10 pm

Yay! I have a new update!

FW has said that he will pay the entire tax bill, and I have agreed to get this done with. I go to sign the papers on the 18th!!!! I’m going to be divorced! I’m going to be divorced!

Of course, I still want him to pay the filing fees, and I want him to declare himself the Petitioner and myself the respondent (after all, he hired the damn lawyer, so he can be listed as the one who started it).

Much more to report, but short on time. Been out of town, and going back out tomorrow morning. More to follow….