Di Has Stories…

(and they’re all true)

Attention: Everyone March 11, 2008

Filed under: bitching — Diana @ 2:33 pm

If you are going to wear a wig, please pull it down on your forehead so as to cover your scraggly-ass natural hair.

If you are over the age of 16, it is no longer ok to grab your junk and do the pee-pee dance.

If you are leaving the bathroom when I go in, and the toilet water is still shimmering from your flush, I know you haven’t washed your hands.  Ish.

Paying for sex is a private matter, and I understand that some folks have to do that.  However, if you are going to hire a hooker, please have a little class.  Don’t bring her to your house, on the bus, during rush hour.  She deserves more than that.  

To the woman that gave me the nasty look when I was buying a home ovulation testing kit at Walgreens:  go fuck yourself.  Yes, I’m having sex.  Sorry if the fact that other people have sex makes you uncomfortable.  Stay at home, pull down the blinds, and don’t watch TV.  People are having sex all over, all the time.

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3 Responses to “Attention: Everyone”

  1. Barb Says:

    And some of them are doing it just for fun – no kids in the cards. Go figure.

  2. dihasstories Says:

    Well, that’s just unnatural. Back in HER day, no one had sex. Ever. And they certainly didn’t enjoy it if it should happen by accident. 🙂

  3. melanie Says:

    People are having sex? Because at my prenatal class the instructor – who didn’t speak a whole lot of English – said that most women have a virginal birth. And since most of the “women” in my class were still teenagers I’m thinking that is what they told their parents too. Of course, we also have “constructions” as opposed to “contractions” – which, when you think about it is rather fitting. I have been constructing for weeks now.

    Also – I don’t know what the story is behind #4 but I bet it is pretty good.


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