Listen here, Mast Cells:
I’ve about had it with you. You’re not playing nice — even when Diana is doing the right things for you. You are being inconsiderate and selfish. This is unacceptable behavior. You will stop exploding post-haste so Diana get get some shit done around her fabulous new home. We’re both sick and tired of her swelling up like a pufferfish for no reason. She’s having a hard enough time what without my uterus to regulate her; why do you have to go and be that way, huh?
Knock it off right now or I will be forced to send my expanding uterus to kick your ass from here til Christmas.