Di Has Stories…

(and they’re all true)

Teh Fat. It Kills (me) October 4, 2007

Filed under: bacon,being a fattie,bitching — Diana @ 12:27 pm

TGIT! Thank Goodness It’s Thursday!

Organization at Which I Am Employed has decided to celebrate customer service appreciation week in a novel way this year. Instead of having one week jam-packed with appreciation for the work that we slaves employees do everyday, they have spread it out over five Thursdays.

Since I try to keep my employer semi-anonymous, it’s hard for me to fully explain the asshattery that is the premise of a lot of our “wellness” programs. Let’s just say it’s a wheel, with five sections. Each section represents an area of “wholeness” that you need in order to be a fully functioning, god-fearing person. The actual premise is good, but the execution sometimes lacks.

So, the TGIT program is focusing on one area of the wheel each week. This week, we are focusing on physical wellness. Chair massages were available (yum) and a lecture given on “healthy cooking.”

I had no intention of going to said lecture, as I was pretty sure that it was just going to piss me off. However, a lack of meaningful tasks, and the encouragement of two of my work buddies got me in the room. I figured I can always use some more recipes.

Imagine my disappointment when this ended up being a seminar on ATKINS IS GOD.

Now, I heart Atkins. It was the one diet that I could stay on, because anything that lets me eat an unlimited amount of bacon, steak, and cheese and be able say, Oh, I’m on Atkins! when questioned about my poor eating habits made me all happy. However, it falls in the area of Diet, and The Royal We no longer diets. Or talks about diets. Or encourages people on diets. We don’t like them. And they are bad for us.

The co-worker and her husband that did the presentation (complete with Splendarific brownies! And ice cream! That taste like ass!) have lost 34 and 57 pounds, respectively. Good for them. Obviously, they don’t realize:

  • Diets don’t work
  • They will regain all that weight, and then some
  • Eventually, they are going to go back to their natural weight
  • There’s not a whole fucking lot you can really do about that
  • But they’ve just messed up their metabolism
  • And caused more health problems than they started out with

My co-worker said that they started this because she was ordered by her doctor to lose 70 pounds. Knowing this woman, I am guessing that it’s because they have been trying, unsuccessfully, for many years to have a child. When will doctors learn that teh fat doesn’t cause infertility, but may indeed be a symptom of another problem? Maybe they should have a look-see at that, easily solved, problem instead of sending this poor woman on a wild-goose chase.

The entire presentation was here’s how we gave up everything we loved, have convinced ourselves that using chemicals in processed foods is far superior to eating real food, and we’ve lost weight…and so should you!

I was right. It did piss me off.

However, it didn’t piss me off as much as the reaction of my other co-workers. I feel that newly successful dieters are just like the born-again variety of any religion. They are all gung-ho for a while (Splenda is great! Jesus loves me! Ask me how!) and then either (a) they realize what idiots they’ve been; or (b) you start avoiding them.

My co-workers, however, were entranced. All day, the women around me have been talking about how they need to go on a diet, and how they want to do what these other people have done, and how inadequate they are because they are not perfect.


I have used this as my opportunity to deploy some of my new fat-activism skillz, and I have to say that I am depressed at the responses I am getting. When I tell these friends that they are perfect the way they are, and that to try to change it is not only silly but dangerous, they all give me the same stock answer of, but it’s bad for me to be this fat.

Says who?

The doctor/the media/I just know it is

Really? Did you do the research yourself? Have you read any unbiased, non-diet-industry funded reports? Do you realize that the “ideal” BMI range is not only bullshit, but has been reduced? Do you realize that “overweight” people live longer than “underweight” people? That the trick to health is to get off your ass and move once in a while and eat non-plastic food whether or not this makes you lose weight?

And then I get the look that says you’re just justifying this to yourself because you’re fat and you can’t lose weight.

In homage to Kate Harding’s fan-fucking-tabulous project, I present you with me*:


My name is Diana. I am 5’8″ and I weigh 227 pounds.

I am perfect the way I am.


*Apparently, I haven’t had any pictures taken of me since our wedding in March. I guess I’m always taking them instead of posing for them! This one was taken in January, 2007.


One Response to “Teh Fat. It Kills (me)”

  1. christy Says:

    I see why you pointed me here!


    That is all.

    No, wait, that’s not all. WTF IS UP with your employer for sponsoring that tripe?!?

    I’ll put the rest in email. 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s