I don’t know that I have a loyal enough following for anyone to have noticed that I have not been blogging much lately. It’s not that I don’t have things to say – cause you know I always do – but because I don’t have much positive to say, and frankly, I tire of me and my whining.
I have been sick – I was in the hospital again last week (for the fifth time since October, for those of you that are keeping track). I talked to the immunologist, and I will go in next week to talk about having plasma infusions every couple of weeks to head of the attacks instead of treating them as they come up in the ER. That would be cool. While I’m not looking forward to heading in every other week to be infused for a couple of hours (or about the port-a-cath that might come with that new territory), I am pretty darn excited about not having as much swelling. Since I had the plasma last week, I have had almost NO swelling, which in and of itself is some kind of minor miracle. I’d like to keep that trend going, thank you.
The condo has still not sold. As of today, we have been on the market for nine months and 18 days. 293 days. 7032 hours. 421,920 seconds. Not that I am counting. We have had a few showings, but the feed back we are getting indicates that the people who are looking at our place are not serious “lookers” in that they have very little intention of buying anything, let alone our place. That’s when we get feedback, which has only been about half of the time…also indicating that the people looking are not serious, if they are not even willing to perform the professional courtesy of replying to requests for feedback.
Which leads me to the real Big Issue that bums me out these days, which is my shitty job. Yes, I know that I have been complaining about Shitty Job* for some time now, and there seems to be no end in sight. Why, you ask? Well, because I can’t get a new job until we have a new mortgage locked in…and that involves buying a new house…which involves selling the old one…which isn’t going to fucking happen in my lifetime. (Oh, and btw, if one more person makes bland platitudes about how the housing market is going to get better, or how it’s going to be any time now, I will shove something very hard and unpleasant in a spot you are least expecting it. No, not there. Not there either. Not even there.)
Anywho, not only do I have the potential mortgage to deal with, but we also have the health issue. As long as I stay at Shitty Job, I am protected under FMLA which basically means I can miss all the work I want for being sick, and they can’t can me or anything. In theory, they need to do pretty much whatever it takes to keep me employed between the FMLA and ADA. This will come in handy when I need to take about a ½ day off every other week to get the infusions.
Flash forward to looking for a new job. There ain’t no one going to hire someone that tells them straight off that they are taking a ½ day every other week until the end of time (and yes, this would be a forever therapy…it’s not like I’ll spontaneously start producing C1 esterace inhibitor again).
“But, Di,” think you. “Aren’t they required to accommodate that under the ADA and other applicable work place laws?”
Think again, Scooter. Applicable law states that I can’t be discriminated against for my disability (damn, I hate using that word) as long as it doesn’t interfere with the “essential functions” of my job. However, if the company that I am applying for deems that working Monday through Friday from 8:00 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. is an “essential function” (such as Shitty Employer does), they can determine that I don’t meet hiring criteria, and not hire me.
There is a serious lack of part time professional work or companies that offer true flex time in this area (in all areas?). In about 8 months of searching, I have found only one such job and they didn’t hire me (bastards). Shitty Employer is unwilling to let me go part time, even though I haven’t worked a full week since the beginning of the year.
So, I feel stuck, which is the worst feeling in the world. I’m stuck at my job, because of the mortgage and “protection”, and even once we get rid of the condo (stress reliever Number One), there is the little “problem” that I am getting to the point where I cannot handle a full time job, or if I could, I’d still have some significant time off work. The companies that do have some semblance of flex time are not kinds of places that I’d want to work (they tend to be giant, soulless corporations. As little as I feel I am doing to help humanity now, that would make me feel even more like a mindless cog.) I don’t have the skills to make it as a free-lance anything (except maybe bitcher), and although Kristy and I are looking at starting our own business, that process isn’t even going to start for another couple of months….(not to mention that when we do start, I don’t have the time/energy for much more than current Shitty Job, and no time off to go catch clients for the new venture).
Of course, I could just chuck it all and go out on disability. I’d almost certainly qualify, and that would give me some income, while being able to concentrate on getting the infusions and not feeling like death all the time, and allow me some time to work on other things that are important to me. However, I hate taking advantage of that system…I’m just not that sick. Yes, I require constant medical treatment. However, I don’t require it to the extent that I can’t work, I just can’t work in the fashion that Corporate America wants me to. (What happened to the flexible work environment we were all promised in the ‘90s?)
So, that’s where my brain has been stuck for a few days. Hopefully, soon I’ll be healthy enough that at least one thing is off my mind. The last year has been tough with the frequent hospitalizations and the other swells that aren’t bad enough to go in, but aren’t good enough for me to get out of bed. Once the condo is sold, that should release some stress and further add to my feeling of well being. If only the job thing would get better….Fairy Godmother? Are you out there??
In happy news, last week I adopted a hedgehog, Furrow. I’ll try to download the pictures this weekend to show everyone his adorableness!!
*I am shocked, appalled, and ashamed to note that I have been at Shitty Job for longer than I have ever held any other job. Ever.