(1) My uncle once…hung my favorite stuffed animal, a pig named Amanda, from my grandparent’s kitchen table light. That was more than once! He also sent me a nephew card cause it was cheaper, and never shared his sausages in the morning. J
(2) Never in my life…have I been to New York City.
(3) When I was five…my parents got divorced, and my mom and I moved to Minnesota.
(4) High school was…a highly overrated experience, in three states.
(5) I will never forget…my three rules.
(6) I once met…Dean Hagland, who was Langley on The X-Files
(7) There’s this girl I know who…will drop everything to discuss poo with me.
(8) Once, at a bar…I threw my bra at the piano player.
(9) By none, I’m usually…ready for a nap, and to go home.
(10)Last night….I made a new chicken recipe that was quite fantastic, and went shopping with my beloved.
(11)If I only had…someone buy the condo.
(12)Next time I go to church…somebody is probably dead.
(13)Terry Shiavo…should not have become a political entity.
(14)What worries me most is…I won’t do everything that I set out to do in life.
(15)When I turn my head left, I see…pictures of my loved ones, and some work that I’m avoiding.
(16)When I turn my head right, I see…my calendar, my awesome pen holder, and my nifty new mousepad. Oh, and the phone, which I am trying to ignore.
(17)You know I’m lying when…I tell you how very much I love my job, and how I don’t mind that the condo hasn’t sold in more than seven months on the market.
(18)What I miss most about the eighties…hair bands.
(19) If I was a character in Shakespeare, I’d be…trying out all those great Elizabethan curses.
(20)By this time next year…we’ll be in a new house, and working on a family.
(21)A better name for me would be…Swelly McGrumpersons
(22) I have a hard time understanding…people who are such assholes to people they don’t know.
(23) If I ever go back to school, I’ll…finally have figured out what interests me enough to spend that kind of time and money on.
(24) You know I like you if…I try to make you laugh.
(25) If I ever won an award, the first person I’d thank would be…my beloved.
(26) Darwin, Mozart, Slim Pickens & Geraldine Ferraro…turtles, crazy drunk, who?, should have been the first woman VP, but Americans are too dumb.
(27) Take my advice, never…try to tell anyone anything.
(28) A song I love, but do not own is…Lady in Red
(29) If you visit my hometown, I suggest…turning around and leaving posthaste.
(30) Tulips, character flaws, microchips & track stars…on my desktop, I have lots, I’d like to not have one in me please, comfortable shoes.
(31) Why won’t people…stop being such assholes?
(32) If you spend the night at my house…you’ll have to sleep on the floor.
(33) I’d stop my wedding for…the groom not showing up. Thankfully, he did!
(34) The world could do without… disrespect
(35) I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than…ride a roller coaster
(36) My favorite blonde is…Carla
(37) Paper clips are more useful than…the training I got for our new system
(38) If I do anything well, it’s…keep people laughing.
(39) And, by the way…you should do this too.