Di Has Stories…

(and they’re all true)

And, an Update April 27, 2007

Filed under: uncategorized — Diana @ 11:38 am

Things that I have wanted to get done this week, and have not, nor will I in the coming weekend:

  1. Address and mail out wedding announcements (must be done before postage goes up, as I have a metric fuckton of stamps)
  2. Finish birthday gift for Magnus
  3. Research realtors that are good at selling condos and/or buying old houses
  4. Look for a place to live in the unlikely event our condo sells
  5. Read the South Beach diet book, make a menu, and go to the grocery store
  6. Hell, just go to the grocery store – we haven’t been in about three weeks
  7. Have quality time with my sweetie
  8. Have quality time with my cat
  9. Have quality time with my laundry basket
  10. Respond to my email of a non-urgent, but would still like to talk to nature
  11. Update my Palm so I know what I need to know
  12. Set up the new hard drive which is actually big enough for all the stuff that I want on the computer, and which I have had since Christmas, and which is still sitting in it’s box on my computer desk at home
  13. Have a nap

Things that I did do this week which, while productive, were not the above things

  1. Go to Mayo to have blood tests done. I went to see one of the leading experts in HAE last Friday (and have been meaning to blog about it ever since then, but haven’t had one damn minute to do so), to see if I can get into a clinical trial for the good drugs, which are not yet FDA approved. My current doctor was a bit confused, as my blood tests do not show that I have Type I or II HAE (the kind where there is a problem with the blood protein) so I have been diagnosed at idiopathic. However, the last two times I was hospitalized, I reacted really well to having plasma with the protein in it, which (if I was truly idiopathic) shouldn’t have made any difference.

So, off to Mayo I went to get the really, really good diagnostic tests done. Let me tell you, I was about as impressed as can be by the Mayo. Their facilities are gorgeous, everyone is unfailingly polite (even the doctor addressed me as Mrs….they ALL did. NO use of the first name at all), and they ran on time. AND I had an entire hour with the doctor. They didn’t torture me for my insurance card any step of the way, nor continue to ask repetitive medical questions. The departments actually seemed to talk to each other, so instead of discussing my insurance, I got to discuss my HEALTH. What a radical concept.

Unfortunately, I had eaten before my visit, so they couldn’t do the labs they wanted to. I went back down again on Monday, and had eight vials of blood drawn – a personal best! A quick shopping jaunt to Hobby Lobby for super-cheap yarn, lunch at Fazoli’s (the one up here closed!), and back home for a nap for my sweetie, and an afternoon off for me.

  1. And I good thing I had that afternoon off! I got a call from my long lost friend/ former co-worker Kelli last week, and she mentioned a job opportunity. It would be for a small recruiting firm (as in, one guy) and she will be starting there in the fall after her baby is born (she’s due soon!), and they want one other person in the office too, and she called me. I haven’t done any recruiting since, oh, 2000, so I’m a bit rusty, but she thought that we’d made such a good team then that we should try it again. Why the hell not? I updated my resume and sent it on to her on Monday afternoon, since I decided not to go to work.

  1. And while I was updating my resume anyway, another recruiter that I’ve been working with, John, called me about a part time benefits job…turns out I’d work about 25 hours a week and make MORE money than I currently am. Am I interested? Hellz, yes, I’m interested. Updated another version of the resume and sent that puppy off too.

And that was just Monday.

  1. Tuesday I went back to work to find that our new billing statements had finally come out, and no.fucking.one can understand them, because (ZOMG!!) changes have been made. While we had announced the changes several times, and have resources all over our damned website, everyone was caught unawares, and cannot, repeat, cannot figure the damn thing out. The main problem is that, previously, for all benefits we had send the bill the month before (i.e., you got billed for April in March). Now, we have moved it so retirement contributions are billed in the current month (i.e., April benefits are billed in March, but April retirement is billed in April). Therefore, as is indicated in all the literature, there are no retirement contributions due this month.

If you understand this, as I assume you do, Gentle Reader, you are smarter than the average bear, and 10x smarter than my average member. This week, we have had about 2,500 calls (average in a week is about 800) and 90% of them are ZOMG WHERE DID THE RETIREMENT CONTRIBUTIONS GO?

Every single time I have asked if they read the inserts that came with the billing statement. I have gotten everything from “there wasn’t anything in there” (bullshit) to “I couldn’t understand it” (idiot) to an indignant “NO” (sorry about your illiteracy – didn’t want to touch a nerve there. Stop drooling on the phone.)

I’m being harsh. I realize that it’s not only inhumane, but Un-American to make someone read something. After all, I was put on this earth, Gentle Member, to wipe your ass, get you a cookie, and read all your mail so you don’t have to. Would you like me to chew up your food for you so it’s not so hard on your itty bitty self?

This week has led me to the following conclusions:

    1. Our members are idiots
    2. They are also assholes
    3. They are, as a group, illiterate, or
    4. They read below a third grade level
    5. They are lazy, lazy motherfuckers
    6. Our communications suck (which I have said before)
    7. And finally, I need to get right the fuck out of here before I go berserk.

  1. Wednesday was more of the same shit, different day at work, but after work I met with the recruiter, John, at Legends after work. Julie and I did some power shopping during lunch, since I was wearing a very ugly (although clean) outfit. Met him over there, had a blast, and he loved me. He thought I was a perfect fit for the job. On top of sounding like a perfect place, more money, a good fit….it’s business casual! I don’t even have to wear Big Girl Shoes to work there!!!

I went home (a dash across the street), talked Jeff into taking me to get wings for dinner, and then we power shopped for a jacket to wear with my good interview skirt, since I was informed I’d probably have an interview on Monday. (Sarah, if you are reading this, damn you for going on vacation right when I needed some fashion advice!) The other jacket I have was too heavy – it’s a suede one that yells, “The last job interview I had was in the dead of winter!” and I would die if I had to wear it in spring weather. I think my sweetie did very well picking out a jacket that’s kind of jean jacket in style, but a lighter cotton, and black to go with the skirt. With my funky heels, it’s going to be a great outfit (Sarah is forgiven.)

  1. Thursday, I found out that I have an interview at 2:00 p.m. on Monday, and that this company is absolutely thrilled that I want to talk to them. Woot!!!!

  1. And, now it’s Friday. So far we’ve gotten only 272 calls today, which is about what we get, total, on a busy Monday. After the rest of the week, it feels like cake. Julie and I are about to head to lunch, I’m going to try not to call any of our members motherfuckers for the next three and a half hours, and then I’m going home. Craftstravaganza is tomorrow, and I coincidentally got paid yesterday. Did I mention I could use a new purse for my job interview(!!) on Monday???

  1. If you are reading this, or intuiting it, or thinking about me in any way, please keep all applicable appendages crossed for me!!!
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