Last night, I had a dream that my old boss, from Company I Used to Work For (CIUWF), called and begged me to come back to work for the company. I had some conditions for him, but I did go back to that job, and I was happy.
I didn’t sleep very well last night, thanks to some new drugs that I am on (I’m guessing…one of the side effects is insomnia, and it was only day three for the new drug), so I woke up after this dream, and gave some time to “what if”?
The reason I left was…well, they fired me for looking for another job. But the reason I was looking for another job had one word: EvilBitch.
EvilBitch was the Sr. Position that I Had (SPIH) and had the ear of the owner, even though she was terrible at her job, and didn’t know her ass from a hole in the ground. Owner, although a great salesperson, wasn’t a business guy, and he made the mistake of letting this farm girl with a two years degree from a tech school run the business end. Bad, mistake, and a lot of stuff went wrong because of it….and, since I couldn’t stand her (she targeted me because I was threat to her – I was good at my job, my clients loved me, I knew my (and her) limitations, and had the respect of Owner. Bad combo for me.)
She had a bug on my email that let her read everything I sent. I got the call from this job, out of the blue (I to this day have no idea how they got my information) and I agreed to talk to them. I sent an email to a couple of friends that knew about this cold call I had received, and I was fired within 10 minutes.
(Later, I learned that EvilBitch had left her hubby and kids to screw Owner. Nice. Classy)
It turns out that this was not the dream job that I’d thought it would be. It was presented to me as a job where I would work with insured people that are having big, bad claims issues, and that I’d work with them and the carrier to get them resolved. I love that sort of thing, and a job where I did that sounded like heaven to me…advocacy, working with the plan, facilitating changes…lovely.
It turns out that I am an entry level phone monkey, working with retirement (not health) plans. And I hate my job. I went to college. I have 11+ years of experience in the industry. And I am doing a job that a first year out of college person could do with their hands tied behind their back.
The only reason I have stayed as long as I have is because I am treated really, really well, which is something that I’ve never had in any of my other jobs. Current Job actually understands the value of respecting and growing their employees, and I love that. Unlike my former jobs, it’s not the people that present the problem, it’s the actual tasks that I am being paid to do that bore me.
So, after this dream, when I was playing a bit of “what if”, I considered what it would take to get me back to CIUWF, if they’d have me. My considerations are:
•§ EvilBitch has to be gone
•§ And while we’re cleaning house, her stoolie/assistant
•§ 1.5 times what I was making before (which is how much I was underpaid by according to industry standard)
•§ Four weeks of vacation
•§ A licensed assistant that could do some of the traveling for me.
I mentioned this whole thing to The Sweetie this morning, and we have a bit of a discussion about the “what if”. Because he is The Best Sweetie Ever, he basically said that he was good with whatever I wanted to do, if it came to that, which I bet it won’t.
Oddly, this dream bothered me this morning (it’s not often I have “dream hangover” like that) and just for giggles, I went to the website of CIUWF.
EvilBitch is gone.
I didn’t trust the website, so I called acting like I was a friend of hers, and she is really, truly gone, and has been for a month. (I resisted the urge to ask if this meant that she and Owner had broken up….)
I don’t know what to do about this information. I mean, the chances that Owner are going to call and beg my forgiveness is small, but I can’t help but wonder…what would happen if I went back to him, and asked for my job back? Would he laugh at me, or just tell me to fuck off, or would be consider it, especially since he KNEW damn well that the only reason I even entertained the notion of another job (which I WAS NOT looking for) was because of EvilBitch?
And it all leads to the bigger question of What Do I Want to Be When I Grow Up? And is it worth it to stay with a job that I don’t like, because I am treated well? Or it is better to be treated not as well, but have a lot of the fringe benefits (like a flexible schedule, casual dress) and work challenge that I have missed?
And, why, if I think this will never happen, am I so obsessed with the thought?