Di Has Stories…

(and they’re all true)

Scatterbrained September 5, 2006

Filed under: being a sickie,work work work — Diana @ 1:03 pm

I just talked to someone who is pissed because she is taken off of disability, and cannot follow the (very simple) instructions on her letter to file an appeal. She needs to talk to someone because, as she says, “part of my condition is that I am very scatterbrained.”

 

Holy shit.

 

I had no idea that I was disabled!!!

 

This is the answer to all my prayers!

 

“No, sorry, can’t hold a job…I’m scatterbrained!”

“Nope, can’t help you with that…I’m scatterbrained!”

“I’d better sit on my ass all day watching Maury…but I’m so scatterbrained I’m never gonna remember Who’s the Daddy!”

“Would have taken my meds…but I’m scatterbrained!”

 

What else can I claim as a disability?

  • Recurrent bitchiness
  • Lack of compassion for stupid human beings
  • Periodic uterine contractions, followed by excessive bleeding once a month
  • Inability to find my glasses
  • Unfinished knitting project-itis
  • Quilter’s block

Clearly, I’m a mess.

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