Di Has Stories…

(and they’re all true)

Suburb Bus V. City Bus July 17, 2006

Filed under: life in the city — Diana @ 1:20 pm

The last couple of days I have been staying at my parents’ house out in Suburban Hell. Instead of leaving my door and walking a block to the bus (ok, I’ll admit…my sweetie drives me in most days, but when he doesn’t, see routine above), I have to *drive* to a park and ride, and take the bus downtown. There are a few differences between the two routes that I have noticed….

 

Suburb Bus

City Bus

Where

Eden Prairie P&R

Nordeast, baby.

 

The Clientele

White. Almost shiny. Except for the one token Asian person, who, based upon her perfect suburban diction, I am guessing was raised by yuppies.

 

You want ‘em…we got ‘em…

The Bus Driver

White, middle aged, and gives a lovely morning greeting upon leaving the park and ride (in the morning) or when getting on the freeway (in the afternoon). Wishes everyone to have a good day when disembarking.

Surly and quiet. If they are calling the streets, they are new or have had way too much caffeine already today. You’re lucky they stopped to let you off…don’t expect a “have a nice day” out of them, buster.

 

The Bus

New, luxury style (like a tour bus). Clean. Cup holders for your morning latte, or evening bottle of water. Foot rests, because they know that you are tired after a long day of being important.

 

It’s a bus. What did you expect? And feet on the floor, bitch.

Sounds

None. It is absolutely silent.

A cacophony of cell phones, screaming out the window/at other riders/on the cell phone with a nice bass line from the headphones.

 

Children

None. They’ve been left with Nanny.

Hell, yes, how else do I get them to their babysitter/daycare? And they run around screaming…until Momma gets tired, and screams at them for a while.

It’s birth control for a week.

 

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