Di Has Stories…

(and they’re all true)

Dave: The Expansion Pack June 11, 2005

Filed under: crazy friends — Diana @ 8:42 pm

So, the other day, Dave looked at my blog and was bummed that he wasn’t mentioned in it. Frankly, since he wasn’t part of a recent dating escapade, I hadn’t thought to add him in. However, I did (see previous posting) and he replied with a bunch of other Dave/Di stories he thinks that the world should know. Here is a brief synopsis (details provided upon request):

  • Dave was going out with the Crack Whore (and I use “going out” loosely), got stoned at her house one night, and couldn’t find his way home. I get a call from “Somewhere on Highway 100” to come get him…but he had no idea where he was.
  • Although I wanted him never to have the Crack Whore in my car, he did, and apprently she pleasured herself for him…in traffic.
  • Dave once digitally anally raped Scabby. He claims it was an accident, but I’m pretty sure that he enjoyed it. As a result, Scabby’s head is too small for his body.
  • In college, Dave barfed in my bathroom, cleaned it up with my bath towel, and threw said towel in the tub for me to find. He still thinks that’s the funniest fucking thing ever.
  • There is a picture of my ass (etc) out there in the world. The less said about that, the better.
  • Dave continues to bitch about the fact that I once drank all his Midori (and I didn’t drink ALL of it, but I sure did drink it while I was working campus security….go ahead, MSU…take away my seven dollars an hour!), just to have a reason to bitch at me. (And this is backed up by an email of 6.9.05 yay!)
  • Dave let me borrow the Lieberwagon to an interview in the Cities (during college). One had to short out the engine to make it go, and the Wagon had been having a bad day. My mom was so horrified when I showed up in the Wagon hat I never had to beg a ride again.

And, now you know.

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