Di Has Stories…

(and they’re all true)

By popular request…Di’s Dating Sagas…. June 3, 2005

Filed under: adventures in dating — Diana @ 8:44 am

And so, I again find myself single. To make a long story short, Fabulous John of several posts ago was unable to rise to the occasion, if you catch my drift, and instead of dealing with it like a man, he decided to get rid of me, the “reminder” of his “failure”. Whatever.

And, as a result, my new and improved ad is back up on the Onion Personals (you can check me out at 21_seeking_42).

I was telling Barb about one of the responses last night, and she said that I needed to start blogging my dating life, as these stories are just too funny to keep to myself. So, here we go….

I’d been back on The Onion for a couple of days, and got an email from AntiGWBush. Well, gosh, that sounded promising…I, myself, am Anti-GWBush. I clicked on the profile first (go ahead, do it…) and was a bit concerned – I mean, I hate GW, but there is a limit to how much I can bring that into every day conversation. Then, I read his email….below, in red, for your personal amusement:

I thought your profile sounded interesting so I thought I would contact you. I never know what people want to know about me, but I will do my best to write something somewhat interesting.

I am a person who has spent the last decade of my life waking up to the world around me. I graduated from high school without much clue of what I wanted to do with my life. I was very complacent and thought I could get by the way most people got by, that is working in the corporate world. After spending some time doing this however I realized how badly I was being exploited by the people in power along with everyone else that I worked with. I decided that I could no longer work for any company that operated as if profit came before people.

Five years after my high school graduation I decided that I needed to educate myself so that I could effectively challenge the powerful. I started going to college in 2001, and during the first few weeks of class the attacks of September 11th happened. I watched as many Americans suddenly began to blindly follow the Bush Administration into a war which I knew would kill far more civilians than terrorists.

I was an extremely shy person in the past, but when I was confronted with the prospect of living in a country which blindly went to war without a thought of the consequences that war would have on innocent people, I knew I had to speak out. It seemed at first as if I was the only person opposing the war in Afghanistan at first, but as I talked to more people I realized that there were many others who had similar feelings.

I was worried that the Bush Administration was more concerned about spreading American power, than they were about fighting terrorism. When they announced they were going to attack Iraq I felt I had to continue fighting against their plans, so I became more closely involved in the protest movement.

I am not trying to tell you my life story here, I just want to give you an idea of who I am and what is important to me. So let me just wrap up by saying that I just graduated from Hamline University last week, and am now looking to find a job which will either allow me to continue to advocate for causes which are important to me or allow me to serve underprivileged people.

One of the things that attracted me to your ad was that you said you wouldn’t drive a car if you didn’t have to. I rarely drive myself, and I am also a big supporter of mass transit. I may be forced to get a car soon, because I need to be able to get to work somehow but I almost feel guilty in doing so. I realize the destruction that our appetite for fossil fuels has on our environment, and there is nothing more important to me than our planet.

Anyways, I will let you respond if you want to know more about me. Feel free to ask me any questions. If you are interested in a picture I should be able to find one soon, I just don’t have it posted online at this moment.

I guess what I am looking for is just someone who is honest about who they are, and someone who believes in working to make the world better. That doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to be an activist, it just means that you recognize the impact that your life has on others and work towards living that life in the best way possible. I realize that my views are often quite radical, and I by no means expect that you will always agree with them. All that I expect is that you remain open minded and don’t just blindly follow me or anyone else.

I am basically just looking for an egalitarian relationship, where we are both equals. My major in college was Sociology, so I understand gender roles and the paternalistic hierarchy that exists in this country. I am a man who is not ashamed to admit that I am a feminist, and I could not in good conscious enter a relationship in which I was expected to take charge over a woman’s life. I want to be with a woman who is not ashamed that she is a woman, and does not look to men to guide her life. Some women say they want to be treated as a princess, the thing they don’t realize is that far too often the prince grows to be far more powerful than the princess. I am looking for a woman who doesn’t want to be treated as a princess, but rather wants to be treated as an equal. I believe that the only healthy human relationships are equal relationships, and if you agree then you should contact me.

First of all, holy fuck! That’s a mouthful!

Second, my reasons for not wanting to own a car are primarily not ecological. I mean, I believe in Loving Your Mother and all that shit. But, the real reason is that it irritates me that I pay more for my transportation costs in a month than I do for my rent, and that’s just bloody wrong. And, if we had better mass transit in this town, there would be less congestion on the freeways, and I’d be able to use it, and therefore have more reading time in a day. I heart mass transit.

Third, Jebus. I don’t think it’s a big secret that I’m a liberal, but this guy is too liberal even for me. I have this terrible vision of every conversation revolving against GW (since, even his favorite love scene in movie had a GW reference). Every activity would be some sort of Anti-GW demonstration. I’d have to sell my car so as not to be a sell out to Big Oil (not like I haven’t already considered that). I’d probably have to give up my crafting, so as not to conform to the stereotypical roles of women in the home, and learn to be an equal member of a relationship (and, I’m sure that the fact I enjoy those activities is just proof of the brainwashing that I have been subjected to as a woman). And I’m pretty sure sex would be less about getting off than making some sort of political statement. (On the plus side, if he’s so into equality, maybe I could have a decent orgasm…).

Maybe being single isn’t so bad……


One Response to “By popular request…Di’s Dating Sagas….”

  1. Anonymous Says:

    Decent orgasm’s are always great….

    Better than the man on top getting off and then he is done so he rolls off you spills his mess on you and your bed then farts and goes to sleep.

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