Weekend fairly uneventful. Went to Kieran’s on Friday night with Sarah, and checked out the Tim Malloys for a bit. They weren’t as good as usual, mostly because they had a different singer. I’m sure he was fine, but not what I’m used to. Oh, well – we are all getting together for a Girls’ Night this Friday, to eat, drink, be merry, and see the regular groping of musicians.
Had an encounter with the One Armed Boy, which made me ponder what I want, and who I have in my life, and how grateful I am for those people. Not that the encounter was bad, or anything – it just made me think about where I am in my life, and where I want to be. And with random strangers isn’t it.
On that note, Andy and I were not able to see each other this weekend, but things are looking semi-promising for next (although, due to recent history, I am not holding my breath). However, I am becoming more and more sure that I want to spend more time with this guy. Wrote him an email Saturday night about how I value his friendship, and feel lucky to have him as a part of my life. Interestingly enough, I have heard from him since then – both by email and phone – but have not gotten a response to that particular one. Hmmm. Don’t know what to make of that.
However, he had made a comment about giving me something to think about on the cold, lonely nights away from home (I start traveling a lot for work next week – don’t be expecting lots of communication from me in the month of November!). As I have recently been hornier than a toad has any right to be, I replied that it was not a nice thing to tease about something that was not quickly forthcoming. He agreed that it was not nice, but indicated that the desire was there, he just had to work on the timing. Now, as much as I am in favor of that happening, I am not sure that he is ready for it (darn it!) and I am not going to proceed with it until he is. This – whatever it is – is too important to me to want to rush into the whole sexual thing. Damn it, I hate being a responsible adult.
Sunday, went to Black River Falls to meet Carla. She picked the spot because it was about halfway between her (Milwaukee) and me (Minneapolis). Despite the excellent breakfast that we had at the local truckstop, I think that we have exhausted the sites of that town. We ended up by the McDonald’s, which had a lovely picnic bench, and sat there for hours. And, it must be admitted, rolled around in the grass for a bit. Hey, how often do you get to do that at the end of October???
Carla and I had a really good discussion about justice – she is working on a wrongful termination situation with her former employer, and I of course have the whole divorce thing. As a former crime victim advocate, she has given a lot of thought to the concept of justice, and has defined it as “what you need to move on” from the situation. And, after some pretty significant thought on the way home, I have to agree with her. In that vein, I have decided that my “justice” for FW is for the divorce to be final. I am never going to get any satisfaction out of him, in terms of what I lost to be married to him, but this continuing process has allowed him to maintain power over me, and by finalizing, that power is gone. And that is what I need – I need for the paperwork to be final, for me to get my name back, and to be able to move out of this apartment that I hate so much. After that, I just have to let karma get the bastard.