Di Has Stories…

(and they’re all true)

I attract freaks October 25, 2004

Filed under: adventures in dating — Diana @ 4:41 pm

I was online the other night (shocking, I know) and got a IM from this guy at American Singles, where I have been a member for a couple of months (that’s where I met Andy, BTW). I only wish I had saved the conversation….

First of all, I have to mention the terrible grammar. That just drives me nuts. If you only speak one language, as many Americans do, you should at least know the basis rules of speech. But, I digress. He indicated that he had emailed me numerous times before (I never received anything) and that he had fallen in love with me the first time he saw my profile. Ok….Whatever, but he kept repeating it, over and over, until I finally asked if he was drunk (he said no, but I’m not sure…). Oh, and I’m so beautiful. He kept asking me to call him, so out of morbid curiosity, I did (and, damn it, forgot to block my number…). Rambling is not quite the word. In a nutshell, he promised to love me like I’d never been loved before, will share his house with me, reiterated that I’m beautiful and he loves me, and asked if I wanted to be single forever, or have someone who will love me like he will love me (uh, can I just jump off a bridge?).

I finally ended up hanging up on him. But, in the morning, discovered that he had called at 3:17 a.m. And again Sunday morning. And again in the afternoon. And again at 1:20 this morning. I am a little foggy on the details, as I was awakened from a dead sleep, but I believe I told him to fuck off. And followed that up with an email indicating that if he EVER contacted me again, I was calling the cops.

I hate to say it, but FW looks almost normal next to the weirdos I’ve met lately….


One Response to “I attract freaks”

  1. Diana Says:

    He he. So, to follow up….this guy DID call again after I told him to f*** off in the middle of the night. I was at Liz’s house for Book Club, my cell phone rang with a “Restricted” call (this usually means my mother), and the voice on the other end said “Hi!!” To which I replied, “Didn’t I tell you to not ever call me again??” The response I received was a shocked “No!” I repeated my request, and hung up.

    And then realized that I actually had no idea who I had just told to f*** off. Andy was supposed to call me that night, so I left him a quick VM to say that if I had just told him to F Off, I didn’t mean it, and I was terribly sorry (got a text message a few minutes later…”It wasnn’t me, but thanks for the appology”). I then called my home answering machine to see if someone had called home and then tried me on the cell…and there was a message from Barb’s Dad. Oh, shite.

    I frantically called Barb to ask if Daddy has my cell phone number, and if she thought that perhaps he had called me on it, as I may or may not have just told him off. Got her answering machine….oh, panic, panic, panic.

    In the meantime, called Daddy myself. Turned out he did NOT call me on the cell, and got quite a chuckle out of the entire situation.

    And then Barb called back and wanted to know why I had told her Daddy off. She also got a giggle…once she found out it wasn’t her Daddy after all.

    And that creepy guy never DID call back…

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