Di Has Stories…

(and they’re all true)

Five Things February 22, 2009

As we all know, I can’t resist stuff like this.  Christy gave me five things she associates with me. I’ll write about them below. If you’d like five things I associate with you that you can then write about in your own journal, just comment here!

Hedgehogs – My obsession with hedgehogs started in college.  My friend Dave’s girlfriend had been to Russia, where they were popular as pets.  He thought that was awesome, and found a hedgie in Mankato that was looking for a new home.  Dave named him Reggie the Hedgie.  After we left Mankato, he decided that hedgehogs were stupid pets, and he came to live with me.  I had him about a year before he died (cancer).  After my divorce, I got Annie, who I had for about a year and a half before I woke up and she had died.  After Jeff and I got married, I got Furrow from a hedgehog rescue, and had him until a few weeks ago, when I had to find him a new home.  Since I”m pregnant, I couldn’t play with him, and he freaked Jeff out, so he needed to be with someone who could play with him and give him love.

Once you have a weird pet, and let it know that you think everything related is cool, you have a collection.  I have so many hedgehog things that the baby’s room is going to be decorated in Hedgehog.  I’m sure our child will end up hating them.

Thrifting – Oddly enough, something else I learned from Dave’s ex.  Having grown up in a rich suburb, and raised by a mother that only likes old things if they can be considered “antiques” and purchased in the appropriate stores, I did not know how awesome used could be.  (My grandmother actually told me once that she wouldn’t buy anything on sale because sale stuff was “of lesser quality”.  Huhwhat?) For a long time, I dressed primarily in thrift (until I got a job that required suits and shit, and then it got harder as I got fatter).  Most of my furniture has been thrifted.  I fully plan on buying most of my kid’s stuff used (why buy new for that shit?  It’s just gonna get puked on and trashed.)  Since Christy and I are both unemployed and cheap/poor, we have spent all sorts of time in the thrift stores lately.  Yay!

Stroganoff – I make the best stroganoff, ever.  Hands down.  You think yours doesn’t suck?  It might not make someone puke, but I assure you that mine is better.  My recipe has evolved over the years, and keeps getting better.  Last year I even perfected a tofuganoff for the vegetarians in our crowd.  Also did not suck.  I made it for dinner the first time I saw my dad after 22 years, and was surprised to learn that the base recipe that I have used for years initially came from him.  The stroganoff circle is complete.
Knitting – I do that.  My grandma taught me to knit when I was about seven.  She was my daycare, and I think that she taught me to keep me quiet for a while.  I never learned to “make” anything – she would cast on for me, and I’d just knit giant shapeless things, and she’d bind it off for me.  I gave it up for a long time, and took it up seriously after my divorce.  I have not been without a knitting project since then, and have even started a knitting group when I couldn’t find one for younger urban knitters.  Right now, I have two sweaters on the needles, a scarf (those are my UFOs – Unfinished Objects) and a blanket for my little one.  After this, another blanket and a scarf for my dad (and a hat if there is enough left).  My house and my person often have fuzz on them.
Sawatdee- Not just a Thai word and restaurant in my world.  Little Sawatdee is what Jeff and I have called our future child since before s/he was conceived.  (You can see more about that at our baby blog, LittleSawatdee.) I don’t know what more to say about this – I feel like I got pregnant it’s all I talk about, and the word Sawatdee is uttered dozens of times a day in our house.  Have I mentioned yet that I don’t know how I’m going to make it through the next 23 weeks?

Christy also thought these words applied to me:

IKEA :)
Easy-Off BAM!
Being swell
Being my landlady
Hard Times Cafe
Ireland

 

Happy Hedgehog Day February 2, 2009

Filed under: hedgies — Diana @ 9:11 pm

furrowAfter my disappointment of two years ago* when I learned that hedgehogs might not actually be at the root of learning whether we have six more weeks of winter, I was not going to write my annual hedgehog day post this year.  I did wish my Facebook friends a Happy Hedgehog Day, but that was about it.

Until I checked my blog stats tonight.  I had a HUGE spike in hits.  And most of them were going to the Hedgehog Day post.

Just for giggles, I Googled “Hedgehog Day” and found out that I am the SECOND result, only after HedgehogCentral.

So, thank you, Interwebs, for making me feel all special on this Hedgehog Day.  I hope that your local hedgie did NOT foretell six more weeks of winter like that bastard Phil.

*BTW, this is the fourth most read post that I have ever written, after A Letter To Those Without Hereditary or Idiopathic Angioedema, American Billing Systems, and Links N Giggles.  I”m not sure why that one is so popular.

 

Blog Dump, Long Overdue September 15, 2008

Filed under: bacon, being a fattie, blog dump, cuteness, fun stuff, hedgies, political — Diana @ 10:01 pm

Category: Adorable (All from Cute Overload)
Pic_12137470106446

Nosicle

Snorking

Category: Adorable AND Funny
Hedge Fund « Lolcats ‘n’ Funny Pictures of Cats – I Can Has Cheezburger?
cat

Category: Word

Hooman needs bebeh « Loldogs, Dogs ‘n’ Puppy Dog Pictures – I Has A Hotdog!dog

LOLTheist: Blasphemy is Teh Funneh » Blog Archive » We ain’t no KansasAdmission Standards We Haz Them

Something to Live For Cartoon | Savage Chickens – Cartoons on Sticky Notes by Doug Savage

Savage Chickens - Something to Live For

Category: Just Plain Funny

What I Imagine My Cat Is Doing When I’m At Work « GraphJam

The Brain At Work « GraphJam
song chart memes

#109 The Onion « Stuff White People Like
Mad Magazine on Sarah Palin – Boing Boing

Category: Why Don’t I Ever Hear Awesome Stuff?

Someone Will Try That Next Year by Overheard in Minneapolis

6-year-old boy: MOM! I WANT A COOKIE.
Mom: If you don’t start behaving you’re going to turn into a deep-fried boy on a stick at the state fair.

Wayzata, Yacht Club

Category: Good Reading

NYC tap water in bottles – Boing Boing

Fat Lot of Good » Blog Archive » What matters

Womanist Musings: The Anti-Rape Condom, Your Vagina and You

I was told there would be bacon.: When is a cupcake not a cupcake?

If I Ran the Universe…: You Matter

pissoff: Life on the farm


Category: I’m Ashamed to be an American (again) (still)
(but proud of these writers)

Fourth grader suspended for using broken pencil sharpener – Boing Boing

TSA declares war on large breasts – Boing Boing

Campaign for Unshaved Snatch (CUSS) & Other Rants: No Birth Control for You Because It’s Against My Religion

Campaign for Unshaved Snatch (CUSS) & Other Rants: Abstinence-Only Education is a Huge Success!*

Campaign for Unshaved Snatch (CUSS) & Other Rants: Oh, the Hypocrisy

I was told there would be bacon.: Stop pandering to me.

SNAFU-ed …. Situation Normal: Who’s Elite? Cindy McCain and Her $300,000 Outfit

A Softer World: 353 (It’s only a matter of time, really)

Category: Good To Know

HOWTO trick your printer into using ALL its ink – Boing Boing

Category: Random Quotes that I’ve Picked Up
I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he or she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights – Maya Angelou

Put your ear down close to your soul and listen hard – Anne Sexton

Category: A Sad, Sad Day

Remembering David Foster Wallace | Salon Books

 

How Cute Is This!! July 29, 2008

Filed under: hedgies — Diana @ 8:29 pm
 

Furrow’s Adventure June 9, 2008

Filed under: cuteness, hedgies, home life — Diana @ 8:24 am

This morning, Jeff woke me up before the alarm went off and said, “The hedgehog cage fell down.”

My hedgie, Furrow, lives in a cage on top of a baker’s rack in my “craft room” (the sun room off the living room).  Apparently it had tipped off the baker’s rack during the night.

I went downstairs and saw the destruction…bedding and hedgie stuff all over…but no hedgie.  I got on the floor and started looking under everything that he might have crawled under, thinking that either he was hurt and hiding, or had run off somewhere and fallen asleep (hedgies are nocturnal).

I didn’t see him anywhere…I crawled all over the first floor of the house (which I assure you was just as sexy as you think it might have been).  I knew he couldn’t have gotten upstairs, since the door up is always closed, but I wasn’t sure that he couldn’t have gotten downstairs.  We leave the basement door open a bit for the cats – the litter box is down there – and if Boris’s fat cat self can squeeze through, then a one pound hedgie would sure be able to.  I was worried, however, that he’s not big enough to get safely down the stairs – he must have fallen.

Hoping that I had just overlooked him upstairs, I went to look through the basement.

The first place I looked was behind the washer and dryer.  Lo and behold, there were a couple of beady little eyes and a sniffing hedgehog nose!

But how to get him out of there?  The washer and dryer are pretty tight against the wall, and the dryer, which he was behind) is gas, so I wasn’t really keen on having us move that and break something.  Jeff was able to wiggle the washer out so that I could reach behind the dryer….but no hedgie.  I thought that maybe there was a crawl space under the dryer that he had climbed into, so Jeff and I started debating whether Hedgehog retreival was covered under our Centerpoint appliance plan.  I crawled back there to check out the crawl space, but found that there was nothing big enough that he could scoot into – he must be on the move again.

Jeff started checking out the perimeter of the basement, and found him all the way on the other side, looking up at him.  I scooped him up – he wasn’t even scared and rolled up in a ball!  He had a little bit of a cut on his nose, and looked like he’d ripped of a toenail, but otherwise was fine.

I gave him a bath, made sure there were no more injuries, and took him outside to dry off and run around so I could see that all of his legs were working.  Not only were his legs just fine, but he was running all around the back yard just as bold as you please – he’s never been outside where he didn’t at least startle or start out in a little hedgie-ball.

So, having made sure he was fine and calmed my pulse down a bit, we put his cage back together, cleaned up the sun room, and put him away for his day of sleep.  I’m sure he’s tired.  He is now going to live in the spare bedroom, on the dresser, which is wider and has less chance of cage-wiggle.

 

I like it. November 15, 2007

Filed under: books, crazy family, crazy friends, fun stuff, hedgies, memememe — Diana @ 9:54 pm

I’ve been seeing this around the Fatosphere, and thought I’d jump in. I heart the meme, you know.

Here’s the deal: type the answer to each question into a Google image search, and then pick a picture off the first page. Here we go:

(1) Age at next birthday:

(2) A place you’d like to travel:

(3) Your favorite place:

(4) Your favorite objects:

(5)  Your favorite food:

(6) Your favorite animals:

(7) Your favorite colour:

(8) Town where you were born:

(9) Town where you live:

(10) Name of a past pet:

(11) First name of a past love:

(12) Best friend’s nickname:

(13) Your screen/nickname:

(14) Your first name:

(15) Your middle name:

(16) Your last name:

(17) Bad habit of yours:

(18) First job:

(19) Grandmother’s name:

(20) College major:

Found via Kate Harding.  Go check her out!

 

Big Blog Dump (with lots of hedgies!) October 26, 2007

SNAFU-ed …. Situation Normal: Bill Maher: “Show me a man wearing an American flag pin in his lapel, and I will show you an *sshole”

Parents use religion to avoid vaccines – Yahoo! News
Seriously, people?  Autism is a very complicated condition, and it is not – repeat NOT – likely to be caused from something simple like a vaccine.  People that make the link say that autism rates are rising…but could it be that, like diabetes, the rates are rising because the definition of autism has changed??  I’m certainly not saying that autism is not a serious condition – for those that are affected, it certainly is – but it seems that autism is the new ADD – fucking everyone has it, and if you can’t figure out what is “wrong” with a kid, s/he is autistic.  Let’s let diseases be, and accept that individual variations in a person aren’t always a clinical problem that needs to be treated. 

Colbert announces presidential pursuit – Yahoo! News
Finally.  A presidential candidate that I don’t hate!

Junkfood Science: Junkfood Science Exclusive: The big one — results of the biggest clinical trial of healthy eating ever
Best ending to an article ever:
Health is not evidence of moral
character and pristine diets. Don’t let anyone try to scare you,
threaten you, or get you to believe that if you don’t eat “right”
(whatever their definition) you’ll get fat, cancer, heart disease, or
die sooner. There is simply no good evidence.

Shakesville – I write letters
Damn, I love this woman.  I hate Ann Coulter with a hatred I usually reserve for ex-husbands, but Melissa totally put the smack-down on Maxim for hating her in a stupid way. 

The Rotund » “You Aren’t Fat” is not a compliment

Cute Overload! :)   This hedge finished carving her pumpkin – have you?
Carver

Prickleball the hedgehog for Colbert 08 on Flickr – Photo Sharing!

2007-10-08 Burning Hog Day 3 004.jpg on Flickr – Photo Sharing!
(Adding to Christmas list!)

My duhpreshun « Lolcats ‘n’ Funny Pictures – I Can Has Cheezburger?
funny cat pictures & lolcats - My duhpreshun Let me show you it.

We’re in your hand « Lolcats ‘n’ Funny Pictures – I Can Has Cheezburger?hedgelols - We’re in your hand Being tiny popples

hallelujah! « Lolcats ‘n’ Funny Pictures – I Can Has Cheezburger?
lolcat - hallelujah!  praise the lawd!

As you might have noticed, I have become a great lurker on the fatosphere.  I don’t have anything particularly interesting to say, and when I do, other woman have said it best.  I find that many weeks my best “clippings” come from these woman.  Yay!
She Dances On The Sand: Too fat for the job

Shortness Reaching Epidemic Proportions! « Shapely Prose  (Sarah, this one is for you! Grow, damnit!)

She Dances On The Sand: Sometimes, other people say it better than I can

Shakesville:  Politicized Embryos Are Fair Game

Shakesville: Par for the Course

Shakesville:  Atheists Stunned by Amazing Toast that Does Not Resemble Charles Darwin Whatsoever

She Dances On The Sand: Anti-vax and HIV deniers

Headless Torso: Commandments for the Lifestyle Police?

Fussy | Photo
cheese balls
How, exactly, does one install cheeseballs?

I found a fatal flaw in the logic of love.: The Important Stuff: Part I
This reading is amazing.  Congrats to Alissa and Evan!

Campaign for Unshaved Snatch (CUSS) & Other Rants: $&%#@!

Bitch Ph.D.:  Just the facts, Ma’am
For fuck’s sake (see “CUSS”, above).  When we people fucking learn about what PP really does?  Also, you thorn-in-my-ass anti-choice people, if you don’t give access to/information about birthcontrol, there are MORE abortions.  The best way to prevent abortion? Prevent unwanted pregnancies! 

I was told there would be bacon.: Oh, honey. Don’t we all?

not martha:  Martha’s Vineyard Fiber Farm Yarn CSA Giveaway
Oh, another wonderful thing on my Christmas list.  I really, really need to find some rich relatives.

Dilbert Comic Strip Archive – Dilbert.com – The Official Dilbert Website by Scott Adams – Dilbert, Dogbert and Coworkers!
Today's Dilbert Comic

LOLTheist: Blasphemy is Teh Funneh » Blog Archive » Shortly thereafter, the crutch came into the picture…jumpin’ jesus on a pogo stick

From Overheard in Chicago:

Man logic

By Ziggy

Woman: “Are you ever going to help me with the kids?”

Man: “I try to help as much as I can.”

Woman: “But you don’t do anything. When I ask for help, you always say you can’t, or you’ll do it later, or some other excuse.”

Man:
“But, honey, you don’t understand. The more I help, the more I cause
problems. I can get in the way. I can do something wrong. I can mess
something up. The more I’d help, the more you’d need to clean up after
me. By NOT helping, I’m actually doing more than you think.”

- Glenview

– Submitted by Torpedo


Flyer for an awesome dog – Boing Boing200710241336

HOWTO Find out why your flight is REALLY delayed – Boing Boing

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Teh Interwebs. Let me show you them. October 5, 2007

Filed under: blog dump, cuteness, fun stuff, hedgies, knitting, life in the city — Diana @ 2:55 pm

Cute Overload! :)
Prisonbreak

Feets! on Flickr – Photo Sharing!

Vörös sün on Flickr – Photo Sharing!

I love this one, because I think that kitties feets are cute, but also because it’s so fun to see exactly how they curl all up like that!
Hovercat…is hovering. « I CAN HAS CHEEZBURGER?

an dats when i new « I CAN HAS CHEEZBURGER?
128297011302345000andatswheni.jpg

I need this, post haste, after I’m knocked up:

jitcrunch.jpg

Uh, Fuck no:  Big Fat Deal » To Whom It May Concern

Beware:  AnonymousCoworker » Verizon Wireless is Selling Your Information

Life, What the hell is going on?: Warning. Rant ahead.

Chokolatez Rain! « I CAN HAS CHEEZBURGER?
chokolatez rain! lol!!!

Gallagher

“Don’t you wish there were a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence? There’s one marked ‘Brightness,’ but it doesn’t work.”

Jean Kerr

“The average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at seven-thirty in the morning feeling just plain terrible.”

Overheard Everywhere | We’ll Get Ours When We Turn on Bill O’Reilly
Father to squirmy two-year-old looking out bus window: No, honey, that’s a church. We can’t go there — they’ll give you a lobotomy.

San Francisco, California

Overheard by: Rebekah

Overheard Everywhere | Ugh, Noun-Adjective Marriages Are So Unnatural
Guy: I don’t understand! What is a pork roll?
Jersey girl: It’s hard to explain… It’s like if bacon married awesome and they had delicious babies.

Shout-out: eavesdropdc.blogspot.com

Overheard In Minneapolis – What Happens in Minneapolis… Goes on the Internet.

That Should Be On The Tab Wikipedia Page.

Curly: Ever had Tab before?

Grizzly: No, what is it?

Curly: It’s diet coke before diet coke was diet coke.

Grizzly: How’s it taste?

Curly: Like a big gulp of dammit.

Overheard in New York | Kindly Clarify Your Objection
Girl #1: I’m living the good life.
Girl #2: No, you’re not! You just sit around eating pie all day.

–The Bowery

Overheard in New York | Um… Yes?
Tourist lady, very slowly: Uhhh, can you… Um, excuse me, can you… um, tell me where… that place downtown… I think it’s, ummm…
Lady suit, interrupting: Christ on a crutch! What are you, Canadian or retarded?!

–4 train, Wall St station

HOWTO knit marzipan – Boing Boing

More Awesome Minneapolis Graffiti…
DSCF9701.JPG on Flickr – Photo Sharing!

Stop War Build Bridges on Flickr – Photo Sharing!

Part of this nutritious breakfast on Flickr – Photo Sharing!

LOLTheist: Blasphemy is Teh Funneh » Blog Archive » My own little pink bunny rabbit … err … lamb
OMG.  Christy pointed this site out to me, and I’m in lolve.
i shall huggeth thee and squeezeth thee and calleth thee george

LOLTheist: Blasphemy is Teh Funneh » Blog Archive » Dont Hold Your Breath
Heavy Load

i will fuck you up hedgehog on Flickr – Photo Sharing!

Prickly Ball Hedgehog Hospital on Flickr – Photo Sharing!

Stuff On My Cat: So that’s what cats are made of.

The Rotund » Roly Poly  I want!!!!
il_430xn12134621.jpg

Don’t want!!
Speechless « Shapely Prose

Cullen Hightower

“We may not imagine how our lives could be more frustrating and complex–but Congress can.”

Elbert Hubbard

“Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.”

Now You Can Watch Videos While It Drops Your Calls

Chick: So, what’s so special about this phone other than making millions of people shit their pants simultaneously?
Guy:
It hasn’t got any buttons, or some-such. It can tell who you want to
call by reading your mind. Also, it smells like flowers and tastes like
bacon. Which is handy, since it can regrow its own skin. And fly.
Chick: Well, I’ll be.

Scottsdale, Arizona

Overheard by: I did NOT shit my pants.

Actually, in Trenton, You Do

Tourist: Is this the 1:13 to Trenton?
Suit: No.
Tourist: Oh, well, where is that?
Suit: Are you just, like, picking track numbers and hoping for the best? Go read the screen, you dumbass.
Tourist: You don’t have to be rude.
Suit: You don’t have to be stupid.

–NJ Transit

Overheard by: Erin

Contemplations of an Ordinary World: My corporate observation for the week
Apparently, Russ and I have the same job.

Life, What the hell is going on?: A Conundrum
What IS the correct answer?  In theory, the correct answer is that fuckwits learn to keep their fuckwittery to themselves, and stop pressing it on other people.

This is just cool:  Artist gets probation for building secret mall apartment – Boing Boing
The apartment.  Not the probation.  That sucks.

African family to adopt Britney’s kids. – By Ellen Tarlin – Slate Magazine

In the spring, I’ll tell you that it’s my favourite season.  But in the fall, well, THAT’S my favourite season.  And here’s why:  confetti skies on Flickr – Photo Sharing!

ufo spotted in MPLS! on Flickr – Photo Sharing!

little Man on a Truck on Flickr – Photo Sharing!

DSCF9875.JPG on Flickr – Photo Sharing!  Love Graffitti!!!

DSCF0289.JPG on Flickr – Photo Sharing!

I love you, TheCurseofBrian!!

Ask Yahoo: Does the Flying Spaghetti Monster Really Exist? at Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster

Baltimore Sun: His Noodliness reigns unchallenged in Hampden at Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster

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From the recesses of teh interwebs…. September 7, 2007

Where you fall in poll of U.S. reading habits – CNN.com
This makes me sad.  One in FOUR American’s haven’t read a book in the last year.  I average over 70 a year…I know that I’m a more voracious reader than most, but seriously?  A quarter of the population doesn’t read at all??? 

In that vein, here is one of the quotes of the day:

Logan Pearsall Smith

“People say that life is the thing, but I prefer reading.”

Stuff On My Cat: Words can’t express how awesome this is.


Stuff On My Cat: Oh yes, revenge will be mine.


Her job?
Her job?
Gosh, I’m glad MY husband doesn’t see it this way (although I have a sneaking suspicion that my EX would have loved this).

Overheard Everywhere | Can’t Wait ’til They Go Up against Hillary’s Flying Monkeys

Can’t Wait ’til They Go Up against Hillary’s Flying Monkeys

Girl #1: How come the pigeons don’t die when they hop on that third rail?
Girl #2: Because they’re Dick Cheney’s unholy army of the night.

Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: I’m glad I couldn’t vote back then

Overheard in the Office | But I Guess My Underling Will Have to Do
Dispatcher peering into Tupperware container: I am so sick of kielbasa I could kick Jesus in the shins!

Emergency center
Pennsylvania


Foregound Background 3598 on Flickr – Photo Sharing!

Have I mentioned yet today how much I love the love graffiti? 

IMG_8174 on Flickr – Photo Sharing!
This one won’t let me copy it, but go take a look – it just tickles my funnybone!

widen on Flickr – Photo Sharing!
These three images rock.
widenlearninspire


Feed Me!: Another missed opportunity

A Job in Hell: Why I Work

Amen.  A-men.

Bitch Ph.D.

The-f-word.org » Blog Archive » Brains optional in Miss Teen USA pageant
This makes baby Jebus cry.

Cute Overload! :)
I <3 hippos! 
Bebehipo

And now, for some hedgie goodness:

Cute Overload! :)
Momeeeeee

Poor baby hedges. Have a hairbrush for a Mom. Could be worse. Could be a Marlboro Light.

For more on this story, check out the Daily Mail UK.

Another sign I need in the future hedgie room:
hedgehog`s crossing! on Flickr – Photo Sharing!

Baby Hedgies!!!  From White belly hedgehog – 3 days old on Flickr – Photo Sharing!
White belly hedgehog - 3 days oldWhite belly hedgehog - 3 days oldWhite belly hedgehog - 3 days oldWhite belly hedgehog - 3 days old

This is how I feel first thing in the morning: GIMME MAI COFFEH! « I CAN HAS CHEEZBURGER?
128298075525157500gimmemaicoffeh.jpg

She Dances On The Sand: Ban the Grays!

Savage Chickens: Monday Ritual Cartoon
Savage Chickens - Monday Ritual

And, finally for this week, some photos I loved on Flickr:

DSCF3026.JPG on Flickr – Photo Sharing!
thecurseofbrian does the best graffitti photos ever!

(this one made me think of Boris!)

Free Bacon Night!!! (?) on Flickr – Photo Sharing!
HOOK ME UP!!!!!!!!

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I am no fun July 20, 2007

I don’t know that I have a loyal enough following for anyone to have noticed that I have not been blogging much lately.  It’s not that I don’t have things to say – cause you know I always do – but because I don’t have much positive to say, and frankly, I tire of me and my whining. 

 

I have been sick – I was in the hospital again last week (for the fifth time since October, for those of you that are keeping track).  I talked to the immunologist, and I will go in next week to talk about having plasma infusions every couple of weeks to head of the attacks instead of treating them as they come up in the ER.  That would be cool.  While I’m not looking forward to heading in every other week to be infused for a couple of hours (or about the port-a-cath that might come with that new territory), I am pretty darn excited about not having as much swelling.  Since I had the plasma last week, I have had almost NO swelling, which in and of itself is some kind of minor miracle.  I’d like to keep that trend going, thank you.

 

The condo has still not sold.  As of today, we have been on the market for nine months and 18 days.  293 days.  7032 hours.  421,920 seconds.  Not that I am counting.  We have had a few showings, but the feed back we are getting indicates that the people who are looking at our place are not serious “lookers” in that they have very little intention of buying anything, let alone our place.  That’s when we get feedback, which has only been about half of the time…also indicating that the people looking are not serious, if they are not even willing to perform the professional courtesy of replying to requests for feedback.

 

Which leads me to the real Big Issue that bums me out these days, which is my shitty job.  Yes, I know that I have been complaining about Shitty Job* for some time now, and there seems to be no end in sight.  Why, you ask?  Well, because I can’t get a new job until we have a new mortgage locked in…and that involves buying a new house…which involves selling the old one…which isn’t going to fucking happen in my lifetime.  (Oh, and btw, if one more person makes bland platitudes about how the housing market is going to get better, or how it’s going to be any time now, I will shove something very hard and unpleasant in a spot you are least expecting it.  No, not there.  Not there either.  Not even there.)

 

Anywho, not only do I have the potential mortgage to deal with, but we also have the health issue.  As long as I stay at Shitty Job, I am protected under FMLA which basically means I can miss all the work I want for being sick, and they can’t can me or anything.  In theory, they need to do pretty much whatever it takes to keep me employed between the FMLA and ADA.  This will come in handy when I need to take about a ½ day off every other week to get the infusions.

 

Flash forward to looking for a new job.  There ain’t no one going to hire someone that tells them straight off that they are taking a ½ day every other week until the end of time (and yes, this would be a forever therapy…it’s not like I’ll spontaneously start producing C1 esterace inhibitor again). 

 

“But, Di,” think you.  “Aren’t they required to accommodate that under the ADA and other applicable work place laws?”

 

Think again, Scooter.  Applicable law states that I can’t be discriminated against for my disability (damn, I hate using that word) as long as it doesn’t interfere with the “essential functions” of my job.  However, if the company that I am applying for deems that working Monday through Friday from 8:00 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. is an “essential function” (such as Shitty Employer does), they can determine that I don’t meet hiring criteria, and not hire me.

 

There is a serious lack of part time professional work or companies that offer true flex time in this area (in all areas?).  In about 8 months of searching, I have found only one such job and they didn’t hire me (bastards).  Shitty Employer is unwilling to let me go part time, even though I haven’t worked a full week since the beginning of the year. 

 

So, I feel stuck, which is the worst feeling in the world.  I’m stuck at my job, because of the mortgage and “protection”, and even once we get rid of the condo (stress reliever Number One), there is the little “problem” that I am getting to the point where I cannot handle a full time job, or if I could, I’d still have some significant time off work.  The companies that do have some semblance of flex time are not kinds of places that I’d want to work (they tend to be giant, soulless corporations.  As little as I feel I am doing to help humanity now, that would make me feel even more like a mindless cog.)  I don’t have the skills to make it as a free-lance anything (except maybe bitcher), and although Kristy and I are looking at starting our own business, that process isn’t even going to start for another couple of months….(not to mention that when we do start, I don’t have the time/energy for much more than current Shitty Job, and no time off to go catch clients for the new venture).

 

Of course, I could just chuck it all and go out on disability.  I’d almost certainly qualify, and that would give me some income, while being able to concentrate on getting the infusions and not feeling like death all the time, and allow me some time to work on other things that are important to me.  However, I hate taking advantage of that system…I’m just not that sick.  Yes, I require constant medical treatment.  However, I don’t require it to the extent that I can’t work, I just can’t work in the fashion that Corporate America wants me to. (What happened to the flexible work environment we were all promised in the ‘90s?)

 

So, that’s where my brain has been stuck for a few days.  Hopefully, soon I’ll be healthy enough that at least one thing is off my mind.  The last year has been tough with the frequent hospitalizations and the other swells that aren’t bad enough to go in, but aren’t good enough for me to get out of bed.  Once the condo is sold, that should release some stress and further add to my feeling of well being.  If only the job thing would get better….Fairy Godmother? Are you out there??

 

In happy news, last week I adopted a hedgehog, Furrow.  I’ll try to download the pictures this weekend to show everyone his adorableness!!

 

*I am shocked, appalled, and ashamed to note that I have been at Shitty Job for longer than I have ever held any other job.  Ever.